"The time has come," Guillermo said, "To talk of many things:
Young Buck--Smok signs--triceratops--
Triumphant Cashville Kings--
Just why are we so sizzling hot?
It's style that gives us wings..."
Having just turned 17, Narky is one of Guiller's youngest bash brothers. But don't let his age fool you--he balls like he's 19 or 20. Narkington loves Nick Spiva, Pokemon, and never losing to Chain.
An all-star in the West End Sertoma church basketball league in 2002, Craig boasts a lengthy resume of worthless talents and fun facts. The White Ninja's interests include Chick-fil-a chicken nuggets, Wild Cherry Pepsi, Fat Mo's and Guillermo Y Compania. His dislikes include haters, hippies, and not winning the A-bracket.
Will DeLoache (Right) The man, the myth, the legend. Guillermo's cannon of a right arm once launched a disc from the steps of the parthenon to the Wing Basket. He enjoys setting goals and achieving them, beach volleyball, and overescalation. Matt Baum (Left) Flying high at 6'5, Matty B has been known to posterize many an opponent in his time. As a professional entertainer, Matt of the Clouds ensures that Guiller is always keepin' it real. A junior theater major at Davidson college, Matt loves juggling, sleight of hand, Rubik's cubes and shenanigans.
Nick Spiva Nicky decided to go to school in Canada due to his strange love for Michael J. Fox. After an entire semester at McGill without hooking up with Avril Lavigne, Mickem decided to return to the USA for his sophomore year. Nicky enjoys coconuts, Eurotrash muzik, and clap spikes. Robert Runner
Robert attended Woodward High School where he lost countless games to Craig Stewart's USN team. However, experiencing these repeated defeats made Robert a true gangsta. Like the ninja, the fire burns within Robert, who shares a first name with the infamous Robert Stewart. Robert enjoys tektonik, Dominique Wilkins, LudaCris and methamphetamines.
The Lady of Rage will destroy. The Ice Princess loves hippogriffs, pwns, and popsicles.
Katie DeLoache Patterson is biologically related to Guillermo Y Compania posterchild Will DeLoache. Raising the Vanderbilt women's frisbee team from the dead, KP earned all-region honors, proving that although bothersome and terrible at basketball, short people do still serve a purpose.
Nick once caught a layout handblock for the callahan. Henceforth, he has been known simply as "Notorious." Inventor of the front-flip tip and noted assassins psycho, NYC often vanishes for weeks on end only to resurface with additional portraits of Latin-American drug lords tattooed on his chiseled back. Upon graduating from Tennessee Uber Cum Laude, Nick plans to employ hundreds of little people in his candy factory, "Mr. Notorium's Wonder Emporium."
First cousin of hip-hop sensation Lupe Fiasco, Gibbs has blossomed into a dynamic defender and cunning cutter. Among her interests are aardvarks, anarchy, AOL, alliteration, and Rocky 5. Sara dislikes webbed feet and people who use trite catchphrases like, "not gonna lie," "sketch," and "awkward."
Jake Wright Is this kid Jakels? Like Allen Iverson, J-Dub is the franchise player on his team (Wake Forest). Jake learned how to play ultimate at the same MBA intramural program as Ace-Koom-Booms Craig Stewart and Will DeLoache. Having appeared on MTV's Road Rules season 9, Jake is a veritable cornucopia of pop culture trivia and references. These pretzels are making Jake thirsty.
- Susan Lavender Evans
At 26, SueBubs is one of the oldest players on this team. Susan defeated a dark squadron of New Zealand mountain people whilst returning the one ring to the fire in which it was forged. Susan's husband is a badass. Susan enjoys Jenga, Roald Dahl books, and straight up smoking clowns deep.
Edward placed 3rd at the National Surfing Championships, 2007. SmackRae has 4000% of your daily value of awesome. Edward loves to dance to Katy Perry and Everclear jams. A sophomore at Penn, Edward is seeking a double degree in herbology and muggle studies.
A Gemeni, Tyler is a firm believer in astrology, having correctly predicted several major celestial events. Tyler costarred with Keenan Thompson and Ben Stiller in Judd Apatow's 1995 comedy, "Heavyweights" before turning his life around and shedding a few of the L-B's. Now Tyler is one of the most physically gifted specimens on the Guiller Roster, a collection of stunningly attractive individuals. Tyler likes WWE wrestling, writing poetry, and pretending to use "the force" when walking through automatic doors.
Kate Denning's ethereal voice once cooed, "You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman," seducing even the most stoic of male suitors. Growing up on the same block as Nelly in St. Louis, KD learned friz on the street, which explains her ruthless and physical play. Kate Denning has been known to vociferously debate questionable calls: "umm...I think you might have fouled me. Perhaps. But it's ok if you want to contest." Kate Denning will beat you up.
Salsa Dave, not to be confused with former Brutal Grassburn friend, "Big Dave," has the eyes of a hawk and the ears of a fox. Salsa was born in 1973, making him 105 in Guiller years. Deliverance owes Salsa money, which is not cool. Salsa has a munchkin named Niko, who will carry the Guiller tradition 4ever. Salsa enjoys dunkaroos, metaphysical quandraries, and YouTube videos of people missing the first question on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire."
Yusi has won more UPA Club Championships than any other player on Guiller, because she is a badass. Yusi cashed in as the primary computer programmer for Napster in the late 1990s. Yusi loves cheerwine, words that rhyme with "spoon," and Niko. Yusi dislikes traffic jams, elephant poachers, and mispelled words. Never play Yusi in Scrabble for money.
And coming soon... Sarah Edmonds, Amanda Hansen, Brooklyn Aha, Ashton Wollett, Nancy Schelin, and Alex Treyz.